so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
