You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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