i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
