haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
