No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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