I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
