I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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