I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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