So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
