I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
