I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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