I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She said her name was "party"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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