what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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