im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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