how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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