if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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