woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
