But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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