I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
