I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
