Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
