I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
