At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
