i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
