I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I am spending my child support on dildos
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
