I'm pants shitting drunk right now
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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