I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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