u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
40s are totally the cure
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize