just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
