Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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