I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
