if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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