Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Randomize
