True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
