too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
