remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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