of course. lets lasso hookers.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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