I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
