I'm lost and stupid without you.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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