that's an acceptable place to lick
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
