we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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