yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
accomplished twins. life is a go
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
