Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
