I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
