Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
