know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
a search helicopter?!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
