i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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