Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
