I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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