Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
