there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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