You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
