He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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