if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
