The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
