Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
