I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
