remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
