"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
