So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
